It really hits me hard when I read about other 26 weekers, other preemies, or other troubles with multiples.
I can't even imagine what this poor Mom is going through. Her twin son died after 3 weeks in the NICU, he had a Grade IV IVH (Interventricular Hemorrhage) on one side of his brain and a Grade III on the other, after a pneumothorax, (Evan had a pneumothorax, and a grade II bleed) they made the painful decision to take him off the ventilator, he died in their arms. Now just a few short months later their baby girl died too. How do you get out of bed after loss like that?
Life in the NICU is such a roller coaster, such a long, long ride. I don't think you ever really get over it, but all the Nurses told us, we'd forget a lot. We have, much of the hard stuff, the really hard stuff, has faded, the memories not so sharp and clear. They are still there, I was reminded over Christmas when Mary was relating her experience visiting the boys in the hospital. Sitting there watching them, willing them to breathe, waiting for them to breathe. (her point was that look at what miracles they are now, signing like crazy, running around, playing in the snow, how amazing they are!) I had almost forgotten about the hours and hours we spent doing just that. Almost. I had almost forgotten the bad stuff and then I go and read a blog like that.
In a way I don't think it is a good thing to completely forget. When I'm pulling my hair out, when my babies are screaming, when I'm exhausted, frustrated and finished...it's really good to remember.
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1 comment:
I don't think I could have gone through what you and Scott went through. I just don't think I am strong enough. There was a reason those boys were given to you two. And they are little miracles. And it is good to remember. I love you all...
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