Shame on me

I saw a mother walking with her handicapped child today. There were obvious mental and physical handicaps. I could see the wear and tear written in the lines on the woman's tired face. I smiled at her and her child. When our backs were facing each other and I was a few steps farther away from her, my eyes filled with tears. I held the hands of my two boys a little tighter. I realized I had been holding my breath, and I exhaled. As I got them into the car I gave each of them a hug and a kiss.

I think every parent can feel empathy for those wonderful people who parent special needs children. Sometimes it's difficult at best to parent healthy kids with ordinary needs. I look at those parents and think, how amazing, how do you do it, you must be exhausted.

Shame on me for ever being frustrated with my kids, tired of telling them the same thing day after day, for someday, my kids will learn the lesson I am trying to teach them and my words will no longer be needed.

Shame on me for wishing they would just sit still for a few minutes, for they can move, they can move both arms and legs, they can run, jump, dance and walk without assistance.

Shame on me for wishing for peace and quiet, for they can talk, (boy can they talk) they can express their needs, desires, pains, happiness, and love.

Parents of special needs kids can teach us all about life, love and happiness. They can give a master class in patience and understanding. They can make us all appreciate our ordinary kids, even when they make us want to pull our hair out, or when the kids are doing the pulling themselves. They can remind me to hug my guys a little tighter, and kiss them a little more often (if that is possible with out becoming a little icky). They remind us all how lucky we are to have these children in our lives, special, ordinary, or extraordinary, we are privileged to be entrusted with them. We are so lucky to know them at their purest, sweetest, un-jaded. I hope that when my boys are 20, 30, or 40. I will be able to look into their eyes and still, deep insde, I will see my babies, my sweet, sweet babies.

I am so lucky to have these boys in my life. I am downright privileged to have these happy, healthy boys here at all.