It's that season again.

This time of year is always difficult. I find myself thinking. Thinking a lot. It always sounds like this in my head.

"three years ago..."
"...I was in the hospital."
"...I was on mag."
"...I was missing my baby shower."
"...I was scared to death."

This year, it seems to be less. It could be that we are so busy there's very little time for reflection, or it could be the terrifying memories are fading. It could be that I look at my little boys everyday and see the distance between my fragile 2 pound babies, and my 30+ pound boys grow wider and wider with every moment.

It could be that I've got other things on my mind. There's the fact that my BABIES are going to be THREE! How did that happen?

It could be, that for the last 2.5 years we've had wonderful people in our lives and they are all about to go away. As the boys turn three, we are losing the wonderful services provided to us through the Watch Us Grow program. Our teacher, Melinda? Who has visited us once a week for 2.5 years? GONE. Our OT's Teri and Stacey? Whom we've seen for the last 2 years and 6 months respectively? GONE. Our super busy schedule? GONE. (mostly)

I'm really not sure how the boys are going to handle this absence of these people in their lives. The absence of this routine. Will they miss them? How long will they ask if we are going to see Miss Teri, Miss Stacey, or Miss Melinda? How am I going to fill this void in the boys lives?

It could be that I have friends and relatives going through difficult times in their lives, and it has me thinking about them constantly.

It could be that in our testing with the school district to determine if we qualify for any additional services, the boys blew it out of the water. The panel was blown away. They said that it is rare that they see kids like this, and that they were amazing. They loved testing them. They were engaging, bright and funny. They tested in the normal or above normal range in all areas. There were a couple of areas of note, and it really comes as no surprise to me, or anyone who has spent any time with these boys.

Language.

Both boys tested in the 99.96% for language. That's only .04% of 3 year old children that test higher. WOAH! I knew these kids talk a lot, and have great vocabularies, but dang, really? 99.96% really??? Cool.

The other area that blew my mind was Early Academics. This tests colors, shapes, numbers, letters, words, all of the pre-school readiness areas. The average is 85-115. Evan's score was 131. HOLY COW!

All of this confims my belief that I am soon to be in very big trouble. These kids are going to be out smarting me before their 4th birthday!

So this time of year, when I find myself reflecting on their difficult beginning, it's nice to have something to smile about.