Happy Birthday

To my dear boys, Happy Birthday.

It's so hard to believe that you are now two. My babies, not babies, but BOYS. After writing the story of your birth I am a bit spent. My emotions a bit raw. But I do want to take the time to tell you how special you are.

Ryan:

I love your smile. You are so serious most of the time that when you look at me and grin, my heart melts. Usually you are being mischievous and you know by giving me that little smile, you can get away with almost anything.

I love your physicality. Your hugs are big and powerful. You wrap your arms around me and then pat. Oh, so cute. You've now learned to kiss without getting my whole face slobbery. I thought you'd never grow out of that puppy stage, now sometimes I miss the baby slobber.

I love that even though you are physical and big you are gentle. You know how to gently pet the dogs we encounter, or how to comfort your brother.

I love your kindness. You always share your food (your favorite and most important thing) with me, your father and especially your brother. Because I know how much you love your potatoes, it makes me so happy when you willingly give a handful to Evan, just because he asks.

I love your new dance. You stomp your feet around, run around in a circle and then throw yourself to the floor, giggling.

After worrying that you would never speak, it's so delightful to hear you talking all the time. Suddenly as if someone turned on a switch you are constantly talking. (some of it, I still have NO CLUE what you are saying, but I know you know)

I love the way you say NO. I'm sure in 6 months or so, my tune will change, but for now, it makes me laugh every time you say Nooooooo-ugh.

I love the way you cuddle Snoopy (fuh-fuh) and wrap up in blankets.

I love the way you cry out every night for (buh---, buh---) books. I love to cuddle as we read until you are ready to get into (beh) bed.

I love the way you hug your brother spontaneously.

Evan:
Sweet Baby Boy B.

You are the best cuddler in the world. I love to hold you after naps and ask if you want a cuddle. You bury your head in my neck and squeeze in a tightly as you can. You would cuddle for hours with your father or me.

I love to hear you laugh. You have the best laugh. It is so joyful. Such a belly laugh. It sounds like every part of your body from your toes to your hair is laughing. Sometimes you laugh so hard you throw up.

I love your compassion. When Ryan gets scolded (and asked to give it back to you) for taking a toy away from you. You sweetly give it back to him. Like the toy wasn't that important if it makes your brother sad.

I love how you listen in the monitor for Ryan to wake up, and as soon as you hear him stir, you yell at me Ya-Ya (Ryan) Ya-Ya. You point to the gate, and sign open. I love how you squeal when we go in and get Ryan out of bed.

I love your empathy. Today Ryan was crying and sad, you without prompting, brought your brother Snoopy, hoping he could make Ryan feel better like Ringo does for you.

I love that you make up for your smaller size with fierceness, your vocabulary, and your volume.

I love that Ringo (Re-Re) has to go everywhere with us. I love that Ringo dances and plays along side almost everything you do.

I love that even though you walked second, you don't let Ryan get away from you. You try so very hard to keep up with him.

I love that even though you are still not always sleeping though the night, you wake up happy and loving, your disposition is sunny and you never seem to be cranky for lack of sleep. (So unlike your over tired Mom and Dad!)

I love your love of music. How you have to have music on all the time, how your first two word phrase was "more music" (in signs) How you can request your favorite songs. (battu, boat, bird, ducks, dog, bus, monkeys, blackbird) How every meal includes serenading by your father or me.


Oh boys.
I am so proud of your every accomplishment, your kindness, your gentleness, your sweetness. I am so happy you were brought into our lives to brighten every day.

I love the constant laughter you bring me, even in the chaos, the laughter floats to the top.

The love I feel for you cannot be described in words. The amazement I feel everyday is immeasurable. I cannot believe that you are what you are after all you have been through. I marvel at your abilities, especially considering we didn't know if you would live.

You two are so very special, two of a kind.

To quote a band mate of Re-Re

Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Baby I'm amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Babies, I'm amazed at the way I love YOU all the time.