Preemie? Who you calling a Preemie?

While our stay in the NICU was stressful, to say the least, there were some things that we are happy to take away from the experience. If we had to have an NICU stay, we were fortunate to encounter a wonderful group of families that were also living through this frightening time.

It was always shocking interesting to me that there weren't more parents at the bedsides of their critically ill infants. There was no place else I could be. I was compelled, drawn by an unseen force to be right there with my babies, every possible moment, of every day. I know there were some that had to go back to work, or care for other children and that must have been agonizing. I also know there were some that just chose to stay away for other reasons, and I wonder about those babies almost every day.

As hard as it is to be in a NICU, with all the lights and beeping, studies have proven that for critically ill infants, contact with their parents (or even another loving human -cuddler) can aid in overall health improvement, significantly. NICU's around the world encourage Kangaroo Care for preemies because they have found both the babies and parents respond favorably. Just a parents mere presence bedside can help a preemie relax and calm down. I experienced this first hand many, many times during our five months in the NICU. There were days when one of our boys was having a tough time, brave nurses would let me hold the breath holding peanut, and for the entire time he was on my chest, his breathing would regulate and stabilize. Or in the weeks before we could touch our boys, the sound of our voices reading or singing through the portholes would always seem to calm them down.

Oh, but I digress...There were a few families that were ALWAYS at the beside of their child, or children. Because we were all sharing a common experience, and because we were all the same kind of dedicated, persistent, engaged parents, we all began to bond. The bonding didn't really start until we all made it out of "A" nursery. "A" is where the very critically ill babies live, the baby to nurse ratio is 2:1. These babies have loads of procedures, lots of "episodes" and require vigilant monitoring. Back in "C" and "D" nursery, the babies are presumably much more stable, in open cribs, off of oxygen, and don't require the hourly stat checks. Back in "C" and "D" the parents are also more stable, we are, sadly, old hands at this NICU thing. Once your babies are back in "C" and "D" you are anxiously awaiting the "go ahead" to take your little bundles home. There seems to be no time at all, but still, much more time for bonding.

Those families we saw every day, and every night have now become some of our great friends. We still share that special bond, we all have similar shared experiences, and therefore approach much of our parenting in the same manner. We are/were able to commiserate in a way that most parents cannot. Battling insurance companies, and pediatricians for Synagis, to keep our babies safe from RSV , navigating the host of specialists, doctors appointments, follow-up clinics and all the other things that come with having a premature infant.

We finally got together with a few of our NICU friends on Friday, it had been a while since these three families had been together all at once, and wow was it fun! Try getting 5 under twos to pose for a picture, notice, my boys are the only ones not sitting still for the camera. Lilian and Lealand were born in June, Haedyn was born in May, and My boys were born in April, almost exactly one month apart for all of them! (By the way, Lilian, Lealand, and Haedyn all went home before Ryan and Evan!)
Saffron said that I tired her kids out and so she had to carry them to the Elephant Overlook. Don't know what she's talking about, we do this "workout" at least once a week!!!!
Haedyn enjoyed climbing and walking along the benches with his mom Nina.

It was really nice to get out with our friends. It is always so inspiring to see just how well all of these kids are doing considering what an incredibly difficult start they had. I say it's partly because we were all engaged and present everyday in that NICU, and everyday since.