Overheard in a public restroom near you.

So many funny things have been happening around here lately. I'm just a little behind...HA, HA, HA...I didn't mean that pun, but keep reading.

So the boys have discovered that they can take off their clothes. Most of my friends have already been through this phase, or are currently still in it. I, in all my arrogance, believed that I would not have to go through it, that MY BOYS would not choose to disrobe CONSTANTLY.

WRONG.

In the last few days, I have caught glimpses of stark n@ked boys frolicking everywhere in the house. I'll catch one, re-diaper, and turn around and he's n@ked again! I just wish we were farther along in the potty training.

I honestly cannot get angry with them. They are having so much fun. They are giggling and jumping and dancing and cuddling. Honestly you have not lived until you have watched two little n@ked boys jumping up and down laughing hysterically at their own n@kedness.

On the upside. During one of their commando moments, they were pretending to go pee pee on the potty. I took that moment to tell Ryan, my reluctant potty trainer, that if he is going to pretend, he should also try sitting on the real potty. And alas, potty training has begun with him. And for me, my biggest nightmare has also begun.

We were out today at the Natural History Museum, and it was time to take the boys to the potty. Two options: Walk back to the car and use the portable potties, where I know I can contain both boys at once, or take them to the dirty nasty public restroom where I know someone will be touching something disgusting during our brief moments in the stall. I fully understand that I WILL have to get over this phobia. I WILL have to take the boys to the public restroom. I know that I WILL still be grossed out by it. *I* don't even like going to public restrooms!

Picture this: Ryan, Evan and Me in the bathroom stall. I have one child diaper off, (holding it in my teeth because this is less offensive to me than putting in on the bathroom floor) shorts off one leg holding him over the toilet backwards. The conversation went something like this.

Ryan, go pee pee please
Evan, don't touch that it's dirty
Ryan, don't touch that it's dirty, please go pee pee now.
Evan, do not play with the toilet paper
Ryan, ew, yuck never, never touch the toilet. it is dirty.
Boys, please do not touch anything.
Great job Ryan I am so proud of you!

Evan, please do not touch that.
Ryan please stand up properly so I can get your pants back on.
Ryan please do not put your hands on my face they are dirty.
Ryan please do NOT put your hands on my face, ewwwww.

Okay, Evan, your turn.
Evan please go pee pee.
Ryan don't touch
Evan, Great Job, I'm proud of you.
Ryan don't put your hands on the floor it's dirty.
Evan, why are you so wiggly. Please stand still.

Okay, let's wash our hands!!!!

Went through this TWICE.

The second time, I also had to use the facilities, where I was treated to the OTHER humiliation. While I relieved myself. Ryan said at the top of his lungs.

"Mommy, you don't have a penis there!!!!"

Yes, Ryan, thank you so much for discovering this fact right here in the PUBLIC restroom.

Ah, the joys of parenthood.