It's the process

So one of the things in my life that I've had to work really hard not to pass on to my boys is my intense perfectionism. Scott tells me all the time that no one can be as perfect as I want them to be. Sometimes this need for perfection leaves me paralyzed into inaction, because I know I cannot do something the right way, so I cannot even begin the task. I'm sure much of this stems from a childhood with really high expectations. While my parents were very supportive and always urged me to "just do my best" I do remember hearing (many times) after bringing home an A- "what's wrong, why wasn't it an A?" It's that, and well, most likely a marker on my DNA that makes me this way. I like to believe I can't help myself. =)

With raising the boys I've really fought myself while working on art projects or crafts to let them be, to let them create in their own way. I've restrained myself from picking out every last piece of mixed up play dough, and just let it become a purplish mess.

What helps me in this refocusing of my energies is reminding myself that it is really about the process of creating. The act of painting, or rolling or baking is so much more important than the final product.

A couple of days ago we went to our local craft store, and I saw these little paper mache pumpkins. We, the boys and I, thought this would be a "super fun" craft project, "of course" (Ryan's new favorite affirmative reply).

I bought orange and brown paint to make the pumpkins and the stem. The boys had different ideas.

Um, Evan's pumpkin...it's red.
"Mommy, it has to be red, because I LIKE red."


What it is, well it is a globby, red, black, orange and brown mess, centered in the area around the stem with little or no paint anywhere else on the poor pumkin beautiful red-ish pumpkin.


Ryan used all colors available to him, which blended together also created another globby, red, black, orange and brown, almost purple mess, centered in the area around the stem with little or no paint anywhere else on the poor pumkin beautiful pumpkin.


But during the PROCESS...they had so much fun, piling more and more paint on their pumpkins so much so I was afraid that they would fall apart. And now they love that their "pumpkins are watching them eat. Are they happy?" (Yes, Evan, they are very happy)


As if that wasn't enough "growing" for me, today, I decided to have them help me make their snack for school tomorrow. With some input from the boys, we decided on pumpkin muffins and apples as what we would bring to share with our friends.

While they were napping, I got everything prepped. The dry, the eggs, the pumpkin, all measured and ready to go. They helped me pour, mix, and dump ingredients into the mixer.

And now this is the point in which I grow, I REALLY GROW.

The boys "helped" me spoon out the batter into the muffin tins. This started getting a little messy, and my first instinct was to quickly put an end to this foolishness, and get them the heck out of my kitchen so I can finish these muffins and start dinner. But...





I took a breath, and got my camera and started composing this blog post in my head.


And this is what I ended up with.


Yes, it was a mess, and yes, I had a bit of fixing up to do before these could go in the oven, but the PROCESS...and this look on their faces...


totally, totally worth every second. Made me so, so happy that I took that breath, and that I let the mayhem continue.

Because really, I hardly think that the discerning eye of a preschooler can tell which muffins were neatly placed in each hole, and which were smeared across every available surface. Do you?


And what my precious boys will remember is how much fun they had making (and then snitching) muffins for their classmates.

And I hope that what I will remember is that things don't have to be perfect to be perfect.