Hold them closer tonight

When I heard the news today that a gunman had opened fire on an elementary school, my heart sank, then it shattered, then it beat out of my chest until I wanted to throw up. I cannot begin to imagine the immense pain and grief all of the parents in Newtown are experiencing.  When I think about them, I cannot help crying. When I see those little faces I cannot breathe. When I see the parents clutching their safe children, I loose it. Those faces could be the faces of my babies.

I drop off my children at school everyday with expectations that they will be safe.  We all do as parents. How something so horrible could happen to our most precious, is unfathomable.  As I write this, there are still so many questions, so much more information to come out, but what we all know is that something like this should never have happened.

It took everything in my power not to race to school, just to hug my babies.  I almost never leave them without a hug and a kiss, but today they were engrossed in work, and oblivious to me calling them over for a hug and kiss, so I waved blew them kisses for  my own heart, and I left. What if that was the last time I ever saw my boys alive?

As I waited for pick up time, I grew anxious. I couldn't wait to hold those boys in my arms again.

Making a conscious decision not to discuss this with the boys, we just went on with our day, dinner, hockey practice, bath, and then at bed time...I think it was Ryan, but I could be wrong, suggested a family cuddle, out of the blue.  Not just Mommy! he said, but Mommy, Daddy, and the whole family.
After a day like today, it was the perfect suggestion.  The four of us, and the two cats, jumped into bed for the best cuddle of my life.

Hold them close, Hold them close.

Growing up Foodie

I know I've talked about this before, but raising foodie kids has its upside and its downside.

I know that I did this to myself.  I encourage my children to try anything and everything!  I take huge pride in the fact that my kids love the obscure, the non-traditional kids fare. I do also remember a time when all I could get them to eat was crunchy food or hot dogs. 

Last night, while playing for legos, waiting for me to finish dinner Ryan calls out from the other room
"Mom! Can I have some cucumbers and garlic aioli?"  I know, If you had a nickle for every time you heard that!!!

Tonight, running in from the other room, spying the sliced tomatoes on the cutting board, he sneaks in to snitch one. 

While making soup the other day, Evan delights in the fact that I was putting Kale into the soup.  "Oh, Yum, I LOVE kale!!!"

While ordering sushi, "don't forget the smelt roe!!!"

Just moments in my life when I can delight in the fact that my kids are growing up foodie.

Oh yeah, Downside? When I can spend $80 on sushi for the three of us.  Or when they would prefer to eat at Urge Gastropub rather than Roundtable. Foodie kids are expensive,  foodie teenagers? oh my!!!