tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9779113135484378332024-02-20T01:31:52.181-08:00The True Adventures of Axel (Ryan) and Outlaw (Evan)Ryan and Evan were born at 26 weeks, they weighed 2 pounds 2 ounces each, and spent the first five months of their lives in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Their early days were rocky, but these days our adventures are filled with laughter and chaos.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.comBlogger396125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-3033731086354448912014-06-29T00:00:00.001-07:002014-06-29T00:00:39.484-07:00HeartbreakIt's late and I can't sleep. Today my baby learned a hard life lesson, and I feel awful. It is possible I feel worse than he does.<br />
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Today he learned that he won't always be good enough, and that there will be rejection in his life. He will try things, and he will fail. That is a hard lesson for an eight year old. <br />
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I wonder if I should have sheltered him longer, not let him face something like this so young. What else could I have done to make him more successful in this endeavor? Here I sit, instead of sleeping, wondering if I could have protected him, should have protected him just a little longer. I wonder how this will affect him in the future. Will he stop trying? Will he decide he can never be good enough? He is already the kid who is really hard on himself when he makes mistakes. What will this disappointment do to him? How will his confidence suffer? What do I do? What do I say? How do I make this right? How do I spin this? How do I fix his little broken heart?<br />
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I think I have said all of the right things so far, I've been supportive, realistic, encouraging. Per his request, I've started the wheels in motion for more private lessons. I fed him pass after pass so he could practice his shot today. Even after his disappointment he wanted to practice, for next year. Then he cried, "I have to wait a whole year", as tears filled his eyes.<br />
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I can't bear to see the sadness in his heart. If I could I would protect him forever. I know I can't. I can only pick up the pieces, and hold them together until they heal.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-37975947063891624512013-11-25T19:18:00.000-08:002013-11-25T19:33:18.781-08:00Book giveaway winner<br>
And the winner is...<br>
<br><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU_q8QsG9MgHFepJle0v8KogpofZ7str-fMNG-zxUkEB7DcO3LKejLlyMj7NliKxDW2iNPDUUobw1m1uD71hSXSfFeRkJ_FyXUIPlJ-PG57fzl-1K8e0YhR1H6kdKnLFrLQT68oxg_QMoC/s640/blogger-image-1697556682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU_q8QsG9MgHFepJle0v8KogpofZ7str-fMNG-zxUkEB7DcO3LKejLlyMj7NliKxDW2iNPDUUobw1m1uD71hSXSfFeRkJ_FyXUIPlJ-PG57fzl-1K8e0YhR1H6kdKnLFrLQT68oxg_QMoC/s640/blogger-image-1697556682.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Comment #3</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Alvin44222</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Please contact me so I can get information to send you the books!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Congratulations! and thanks to all who entered!</div>Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-82060110450692728572013-11-16T15:07:00.001-08:002013-11-16T15:17:18.108-08:00Book Review: Travels with Gannon and Wyatt<!-- Travels with Gannon and Wyatt (Review Series) / Clever Girls Snippet --><script src="http://member.clevergirlscollective.com/track?u=5922&g=753" type="text/javascript"></script><img src="http://assets.clevergirlscollective.com/pixel/p.png?a=campaign&gid=753&uid=5922" style="display: none; height: 1px; width: 1px;" /><!-- END Clever Girls Snippet --><br />
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I feel so lucky to be a part of this Clever Girls Campaign. Any one who knows Ryan and Evan, knows just how much they love to read. Finding a new series that is age appropriate, and challenging enough is always a struggle, so finding <a href="http://clvr.li/GNrZxQ" target="_blank">The Travels with Gannon and Wyatt, </a>by Patti Wheeler and Keith Hemstreet, is like a little gold mine.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSs1mAsFJfU1bteUoCFknlfcrKCIlmUHIIGze7RTrORxbyRMAKOKBWYzXTfKHFtXCbLfw_vwAH4VeBcN79QWKL2EJpUOijBPvpondCQi8PZaZehdH47mULPdldrQDP4kaJ7gDKYQaBLhZK/s1600/Travels+with+Gannon+and+Wyatt_+Botswana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSs1mAsFJfU1bteUoCFknlfcrKCIlmUHIIGze7RTrORxbyRMAKOKBWYzXTfKHFtXCbLfw_vwAH4VeBcN79QWKL2EJpUOijBPvpondCQi8PZaZehdH47mULPdldrQDP4kaJ7gDKYQaBLhZK/s320/Travels+with+Gannon+and+Wyatt_+Botswana.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>
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We started reading the first book, Botswana, the moment the books arrived. Ryan and Evan were immediately excited to find that Wyatt and Gannon are twins, just like they are. As a Mom of twins, I loved that the boys described themselves as totally different personalities. I have often supported and encouraged the differences in my boys as it can be very difficult to be a twin. As fraternal twins, Ryan and Evan have it somewhat easier, they look different, but to always share a birthday, or to always have someone almost the same as you around all the time, it can be difficult. Gannon and Wyatt are both incredibly smart and creative, yet they are such individuals, what we all want for our kids.<br />
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Gannon and Wyatt bicker like twins, but also have a undeniable love for each other. That love is evident when Wyatt gets sick. Gannon sits by his bedside, cares for him and is very stricken with worry. I love the dynamic between the boys, they tease, fight, but ultimately, they love.<br />
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On the back cover, the age range on these books states 9-12, which is appropriate. There are intense themes, like Wyatt's illness, and the constant threat of death by wild animal, but they are managed in a manner that is not too frightening for my boys who are only 7. I read the books with the boys the first time, just to make sure there was nothing too scary for them. There has been nothing better than them coming to me with books in hand begging for me to read more Wyatt and Gannon.<br />
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While Wyatt and Gannon experience many scary things, poachers, tomb robbers and wild animals, I loved the way the authors addressed these issues. Wyatt and Gannon are thoughtful and bright young men and their journal entries address conservation, protection of ancient artifacts and understanding of native cultures. While some of these topics are a bit intense, especially from my sheltered kids who watch minimal television and play zero video games, it does give us moments for frank discussion. Because of the need to discuss some of these topics more in depth, I feel reading these books with younger kids is a must.<br />
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By far Botswana was our favorite, because the first one is always your favorite! But we thoroughly enjoyed the adventures in the Great Bear Rainforest (October, 2013) and Egypt (January, 2014) , and we look forward to continued adventures with <a href="http://clvr.li/GNrZxQ" target="_blank">Gannon and Wyatt</a>.<br />
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One problem arising from these books? Ryan and Evan really want to travel to Botswana, Canada and Egypt!<br />
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Check out the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/GannonAndWyatt" target="_blank">Travels with Gannon and Wyatt Facebook page</a>, where they will be giving away three Kindle Fires! If traditional books are more your speed, I will be giving away a copy of the three books to one lucky reader! Leave a comment and one randomly picked comment will be drawn on Monday, November 25, 2013 at 7PM Pacific.<br />
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<i>I was selected for this opportunity as a member of <a href="http://clevergirlscollective.com/" target="_blank">Clever Girls Collective</a> and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.</i><br />
Proof of PostJanicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-39317479834559478242013-10-23T18:21:00.002-07:002013-10-23T18:22:43.123-07:00We've come so far!It was not long ago, about a year, that I worried almost daily about Ryan and his reading. He loved being read to, he tried very hard to read himself, but good golly, it was a struggle. It was frustrating for both of us, I couldn't understand how he did not know that "train" we had just sounded out was the same "train" one line down, as we sounded it out all over again. And then to have his brother, reading everything in sight, with ease, oh my his poor little heart. This time in our lives was very exhausting. It was really hard on his self esteem and it was really worrisome to me.<br />
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At some point last year Evan needed a little extra help with hockey and we put him in private lessons. He needed some one on one time to figure out what he was supposed to be doing in practice. During the 45 minutes Evan was on the ice, Ryan and I were given private time to work on his reading. Seriously, best $40 a week ever spent!!!! Evan's skating and focus was 100% improved, and Ryan was FINALLY able to make a breakthrough with his reading. Without Evan correcting him from the other room, it was all Ryan and he HAD to figure it out. I admit it was a good thing we were doing this in an ice arena because some days I had trouble keeping my cool, but by the end of five or six lessons, I could see a dramatic improvement.<br />
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We've had another MAJOR breakthrough!<br />
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Yesterday Ryan started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and tonight he finished it. That is 309 pages in two days!!! THREE HUNDRED AND NINE!!!! This kid, who last year could barely read nine words in two days just read three hundred and nine pages in two days. He was SO proud of himself. I am pretty proud too...<br />
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..oh and Evan, he's on page 380 in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-86363275485668210382013-08-23T16:16:00.000-07:002013-08-23T16:16:01.380-07:00Stop, Look, ListenToday I had one of those parenting moments. One of the good ones, not one filled with regret, but thankfulness that I took a moment to listen.<br />
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The boys were going to spend the day with their old teacher, while I went to a cooking class. They were so excited, I do not have the words for how much they love Ms. Erin. They have been talking about it all week, looking forward to spending some time with her, seeing her house, telling her all about their summer. Every day this summer one or both of the boys has said something to the effect of "you should send a picture of this to Ms. Erin" or "when I see Ms. Erin again..." So they love her and miss her.<br />
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This morning, I was in the shower. Now the shower is a wonderful place for me. With the fan on and the water beating down on my head, I can barely hear what is going on in the living room with the kids. I can hear yelling and screaming, but normal play, it is blissful silence. By nature I only take about a 5 minute shower, and I don't think it is too much to ask to be left alone for those brief moments. At seven, I believe that the boys can function without me for those few minutes, but alas, it almost never happens, usually in those five minutes, someone has to visit me to tell me something very important. Usually I ask before they start talking too much, "Is this something that can wait until I get out of the shower in five minutes?!!!!" 99 times out of a hundred, the answer should be yes! <br />
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Today, like just most days, I was rudely interrupted while shampooing my hair by Ryan. I could not hear him, as I started to be frustrated in my mind, I looked at his face. It was full of joy and anticipation, almost like Christmas Morning. He blurted out something about what he wanted to do with Ms. Erin's dog Huckleberry. He giggled, and went back to play.<br />
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I took a breath and spent the rest of the shower glad I did not make him wait to tell me that little bit of nothing, because it was so important to him, and that is all that really matters.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-82975480822905758542013-08-11T12:11:00.001-07:002013-08-11T12:11:14.396-07:00Strange DreamsI had a strange dream about the NICU the other night. <br />
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I don't remember a lot about it, but I do remember that as a safety precaution, they had implemented an odd way of entering the NICU. You sat on the end of a long bungee cord, and then let go. You shot past multiple floors, again and again, eventually settling at the entrance to the NICU. I remember feeling terror as I flung through what felt like a tiny hole between the floors. I remember wondering how you would evacuate all the tiny babies in a system that required you holding on to a bungee for dear life. <br />
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Reflecting on it now, the dream was much less about how to get in and out of the NICU, but how if feels when you are living in it. Great extremes. Highs and lows. Bouncing from one end of the spectrum to the others. <br />
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Even 7 years later, my subconscious is still processing the experience. <br />
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(It may have something to do with the NICU picnic we just went to last weekend) =)Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-11425881203817846702013-04-07T00:31:00.000-07:002013-04-07T00:31:00.126-07:00Evan at SevenEvan my sweet, ball of fire, never ending source of entertainment. Evan my Joy. I cannot believe you are seven. Seven years ago you came bursting into my life. How you were not Baby A I'll never know. It is possible that you were pushing, kicking, and talking at Ryan so hard he just had to come out. <br />
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Evan you wake up every morning and you are in fifth gear. You don't slow down until you hit stop for the night and then you crash. You still thrash and move in your sleep. The energy you have could power a small city. If only I could harness it, I could reduce our electricity bills, and maybe even power my car! As much as sometimes I wish you would just sit still, I would never want to diminish the exuberance you attack everything with.<br />
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Evan you too are wicked smart. It scares me sometimes! You sat down the other day and read Tolkien. Granted it was just the Hobbit, but seriously impressive man. When you are reading seems to be the only time you are quiet and still. Sometimes you hum, but usually you are quiet. Your focus is amazing. You have read entire chapter books, written for older kids, in a day. You never cease to amaze me. I am so glad you have been given the opportunity to flourish in school, and not be confined and disciplined to the point where you loose your joy. I love that they embrace you for who you are!<br />
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Evan you still sing, but not like when you were younger. You hum almost constantly. You can hear a song/score once and it becomes part of your repertoire. We tried some music lessons, but you don't quite have the focus for the environment. I want to find something for you this year to encourage your musical gene.<br />
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Evan, your vocabulary and your ability to formulate complex sentences always brings a smile to my face. I recently likened you to Aaron Sorkin, an amazing writer of dialog for movies and television, one of my favorites. When you bust out a Sorkin Sentence, I wonder if your future holds writing, or the like. I've always said you were my play by play man, but you've been talking about making movies a lot this year. I wonder.<br />
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Evan you are very sensitive, and I think you may get your feelings hurt often. You have lots of friends, but I am not sure they always know what to do with you. With your vocabulary and your gift of gab you can overwhelm many. You are impatient and constantly need to be doing...I don't know where you got that!!! (I am sorry for that honey, I hope to teach you how to channel those attributes)<br />
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You are so strong, and determined. You have wonderful opinions and you are not afraid to share them. You are fiercely loyal and passionate.<br />
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I love you my sweet, I love when you turn to me and say "I love you Mom" for no reason at all. I love that for a few weeks all you wanted was for me to cuddle you every night before bed. I know those moments will be fewer and fewer as you continue to grow older so I cherish every second.<br />
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Happy Birthday to my love bug.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-33631186625197198732013-04-07T00:30:00.000-07:002013-04-07T00:30:04.085-07:00Ryan at SevenRyan my loving boy. You are seven today. How is that possible. Seven years ago, I didn't know if you would live, let alone become the wonderful child you are today. Seven years ago today was the scariest, most wonderful day of my life because you and your brother made your grand entrance way too early. I should have seen that as a foreshadowing of your constant early wake ups!<br />
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Ryan my heart. You are so kind and generous. This year it seems you are always trying to give things away, to me, to your father, to your brother. I even caught you trying to slip Five Dollars into your Grandmother's Card. You are so considerate of others and their feelings. When Evan gets in trouble, I often find you crying for him.<br />
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You are so eager to help, and to do things on your own. You still love to be in the kitchen, and you want to help when ever possible. You can make your own breakfast, and you have gotten really good at measuring, cracking eggs, and even chopping! You have such an affinity for the kitchen, I still think you may be a chef.<br />
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Ryan you are so incredibly smart, but you are less confident of your intelligence. Your memory is amazing. You have such an eye for detail and with your memory, I have a tough time keeping up with you. You struggled all year with your reading, but in the last few months you have really blossomed. You are reading easily things that had you frustrated only weeks ago. I am so proud of your hard work and your tenacity.<br />
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You have so many friends, and you even have a "girlfriend". Sorcha is super sweet and she talks about you to her mom all the time. You must like her a lot as you named one of your Lego ships the Sorcha. She recently came over for a play date and the three of you ran around and had a blast for 7 hours.<br />
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You are so competitive, and such a perfectionist. (I'm sorry about that sweetie, but you come by those attributes naturally. We will work on using that to your advantage)You remind me of your Daddy, not just in looks, but in your quick wit and one liners. For someone so young, you have a very well developed sense of humor. <br />
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I am so thankful that you still want to cuddle me. All I need is a book and you are all over me! You still spontaneously give me a hug, just because, and it melts me. I hope you never loose that loving, kind spirit of yours. <br />
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Happy Birthday my precious, sweet, loving boy! Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-33886375831200425422013-03-30T16:20:00.001-07:002013-03-30T16:20:27.304-07:00I guess the healing begins around year sevenI was in Savasana in yoga today and I realized something. It is March 30th! Two days and Seven years ago, my life was changed forever. <br />
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For the past six years March 28th has been frought with angst, sadness and shortness of breath. This year, it seems to have passed without event.<br />
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I still don't watch the NCAA Tournament like I used to. At the start of it, I felt a bit angsty, I knew it was that time of year again, but not in the same way...<br />
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If I take the time to reflect I can work myself up into a tizzy, but it doesn't seem to to perccolate to the surface out of nowhere anymore...<br />
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Interesting.<br />
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Seven years ago,<br />
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I was in a hospital bed, convinced I would be there for another ten or twelve weeks at least! I was settling in for the long haul. That long haul was only seven more days!<br />
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Seven years later,<br />
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I have two boys who are nearly seven years old. Wow. Just Wow.<br />
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<br />Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-67061586559351561572013-03-01T02:25:00.000-08:002013-03-01T02:29:07.256-08:00Sometimes the rules don't matter. (and, I need to remember that)It is 2 o'clock in the morning and I am feeling pretty rotten.<br />
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In the past few weeks I have had a couple of incidents of bad parenting. Today was a gigantic fail. Epic.<br />
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Today I got so wrapped up in "the rules" that I forgot that my boys are only 6 (almost 7) and that they are enthusiastic and that they enjoy life to the fullest.<br />
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We were on a field trip today, first the aquarium and then the park at the beach. The rule was no one was supposed to go in the water. Of course, I knew better, I knew that my kids would not be able to resist. I even said it to their teacher. But instead of just being prepared, with extra clothes, I chose to be a hard ass. To make them follow the rules. And when they broke the rules, I made them regret it. And now I am the one up at 2 AM regretting it, unable to sleep because I turned what should have been a fun time into something totally opposite. <br />
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What really made me feel awful about making my boys sit out of all of the fun, because they broke the "rules" was a picture posted by one of the other moms on the field trip. I think it must have been taken moments before I found them in the water.<br />
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When I saw it, I saw clearly what I was missing today on the beach. Their joy. You cannot even see their faces clearly, but it is their body language, I can feel their happiness. It looks as if Evan's feet are not even touching the ground. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I apologize for the inelegant black boxes over the other kids faces, but it is nearly 2:30 now, and I don't want to go to my desktop to open photoshop, nor do I think I will be able to get permission from the other four parents at this hour. As it is, I hope when the photographer wakes up in the morning she is okay with me using this photo)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Honestly, wh<span style="font-size: small;">y did<span style="font-size: small;">n't I just bring extra clothes, and embrace the mom<span style="font-size: small;">ent<span style="font-size: small;">? Why did I have to <span style="font-size: small;">t</span>ake this moment</span></span></span></span></span> of joy and turn it into anything but joy? This is going to be one of those memories that I will never, never, never forget, it will make me sick forever. <br />
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Now I wait until they wake up so I can apologize.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-64245221284379746572013-02-17T09:41:00.000-08:002013-02-17T09:41:27.123-08:00PTSD and the Preemie Expreience A friend, NICU mom times two posted this link on Facebook this week<br />
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<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&">http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&</a><br />
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The story states that parents who have experienced the NICU may suffer from PTSD like symptoms.<br />
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We. Absolutely. Do.<br />
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I remember the first time I walked back into the NICU after the boys had been released. It had been close to a year I believe...I signed in, opened the door and then I suddenly grew shaky, I started to sweat, I was chilled, I was pale and clammy, and I started to cry. It was like opening up the gates to a type of hell. The sounds, the sights, the smells. One of the nursed said, "that happens all the time". If that isn't PTSD, I don't know what is. <br />
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Recently there have been several television shows that have featured premature baby story lines. I find myself either sobbing or cursing at the unrealistic portrayal. I get a lump in my throat at commercials promoting the new and improved NICU in town. I hold my breath and my tongue when I hear about pregnant friends. I worry until the baby reaches ~30 weeks gestation. I breathe again after 37 weeks. I will never look at pregnancy as a happy event, and that is crazy! But I can't stop worrying! If that isn't PTSD, I don't know what is.<br />
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My NICU friends and I have often discussed just how much the experience has affected us. We often ponder how the experience has changed our parenting styles. The way we look at our children. I see the big three potential areas things could be different if my kids were term babies.<br />
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Illness<br />
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Having to keep my babies away from people, worrying every day that they might get RSV, and end up back in the hospital, for the first two cold and flu seasons, changed or rather exacerbated my germophobia. I think, don't quote me on this, that there is a statistic that says 4 out of 5 preemies end up back in the hospital in the first year. That we escaped with both boys is nothing short of a miracle, or maybe it was the gallons and gallons of hand sanitizer and the hermits lifestyle we led.<br />
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I still to this day have gallons of sanitizer in the house. I harp to wash, wash, wash. We use sanitizer when we are out and about, double that during cold and flu season. Is that a carry over from our NICU experience? Maybe. <br />
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Development and Education<br />
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Worrying about every single developmental milestone changed the way I look at education. I have the potential to be a Tiger Mom, I'll admit it. My parents were Tiger-like. I was a high achiever, my husband is a high achiever, we could want and expect that from our kids too. But not knowing if you child would walk, or talk, or develop in any of the normal ways, changes everything. Constantly adjusting for prematurity, changes you.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(from the March of Dimes- </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Babies who are born prematurely often have two ages:
</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Chronological age is the age of the baby from the day of birth—the number of days, weeks or years old the baby is. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Adjusted age is the age of the baby based on his due
date. Health care providers may use this age when they evaluate the
baby's growth and development. So, if a baby is 6 months old, but was
born two months early, his adjusted age is 4 months.) </span></li>
</ul>
It is only now (and not REALLY) that I am starting to believe that my kids are pretty normal in their development and that they have a shot at being pretty normal in the future. SEVEN years later! I would think, and correct me if I am wrong, that parents of non-preemies don't stress over every little developmental issue. Shouldn't he be holding a pencil better by now, shouldn't he be sitting up more stably now, walking? talking? Is there something wrong?????<br />
<br />
I found that I was desperate for my kids to have an education that didn't pressure them into conforming to what a district thought was important. I did not want to set them up for potential failure if their prematurity affected their ability to learn traditionally.<br />
<br />
Trauma in general<br />
<br />
This is a weird category, but I have these things, that I can only define as traumas, or worst case scenarios, morbid thoughts.<br />
<br />
I think only a preemie parent wonders if their child is still breathing, if they should for a change (a rare, rare, change) sleep in in the morning. That's not a normal thing is it? I've always attributed that to the PTSD. The seeing my kids turn blue, purple and black because they forgot to breathe.<br />
<br />
This might just be a twin mom thing, but I worry that one twin will die. At first I wondered would the baby remember his twin? Now I wonder how the other will go on. They love each other so much! I know we would be devastated, but what about the surviving twin? They are best friends, besties forever. <br />
<br />
Do parents of non-preemies worry that their kids are going to die? Is a preemie thing? or do <i><b>I</b></i> need help?<br />
<br />
<br />
What kind of parent would I have been had my boys not been born at 26 weeks? Had they not spent five months in the hospital fighting for life? Would I be a germ loving, tiger mom, with stressed, over committed kids, achieving no matter what the cost? I wonder.<br />
<br />
I realize all of the above sounds kind of crazy. I know. The experience of living in the NICU for FIVE MONTHS is something that not many people have had, if you have not lived it you cannot judge it. The trauma is something that will follow us forever. It is something that will always guide our decisions and actions, it is not something you can un-see. I wish it was. I wish it was.<br />
<br />
So yes, parents who have had an extensive NICU stay suffer from PTSD. I am living proof, along with all of the amazing moms and dads that were there in the trenches with us. We are living proof. Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-41475431881896247822013-01-23T16:27:00.001-08:002013-01-23T16:28:25.205-08:00Some Recent FunniesThese kids crack me up.<br />
<br />
During sharing, early in the year, the boys had to share something about their heritage. I wrote their middle names in Japanese for them and we talked about being Japanese and Norwegian.<br />
<br />
During their sharing, one of their friends said, "I didn't know you were Japanese" to which Evan responded, hands flung in the air, "I KNOW!!!!! We JUST found out!"<br />
<br />
Their teacher Ms. Erin, laughed so hard she cried.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The other day, I <strike>made</strike> tried to make my Aunt's Fried Chicken. It calls for an ice cold salt bath overnight, so I assumed brine. I cooked up the chicken, using the translated from Japanese instructions provided to me from another relative who watched once as she prepared the dish and asked some questions. I have a few of these recipes from her, and well not always perfect, I have managed to recreate some of Auntie Masako's finest. (her potato rolls are my crowning achievement)<br />
<br />
I fried up the chicken, plated it up and served it to my boys.<br />
<br />
Evan: "What makes this chicken taste so much like salt, mom?"<br />
<br />
Ryan: "It's okay, as long as you don't eat too much of it."<br />
<br />
Their kind and tactful words were very, very kind.<br />
<br />
The chicken, it was inedible.<br />
<br />
When I said this out loud. Ryan said, "no, not really inedible, just hard to eat."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-45175745004006440022013-01-17T15:07:00.000-08:002013-01-17T15:07:36.303-08:00Reading RyanSo this transition into first grade has been seamless. The boys LOVE their teacher, and I do as well. She is thoughtful about her lessons, she is dedicated to her kids, she is funny, sarcastic, and an amazingly patient teacher. <br />
<br />
Evan has been reading for some time now. It really clicked with him. He is reading books at about a third grade level, but I find that he can sound out just about any word that follows traditional rules. Scary, I now have to be very careful with what I leave laying about.<br />
<br />
Ryan, has been slower on the uptake, and it was alarming. I could not get him to read ANY thing to me. He would tell me he couldn't or it was confusing. So imagine my surprise when I went in for Parent Teacher conferences to learn that he was one of the best readers in the class. "Ryan?" I asked, "No, you mean Evan" No, she meant Ryan. That little faker.<br />
<br />
Ryan has always loved to be read to. He was the kid that I read to for four straight hours one day when he was sick. He is the kid that would choose having stories read to him over Legos...okay maybe not, but he loves to be read to. So, I guess in his little brain, he decided that if he shows me he can read, he will not get stories read to him. <br />
<br />
Since that meeting, I have breathed a bit easier, not pushed him to read to me as much. However while on a cleaning binge, I found a set a books that I had picked up quite a while back, I gave them to Ryan, made a big fuss about how these were books I knew he could read and they could be his special books that he could keep in his room. Within minutes, he was calling me to come see, he could read this whole page!!! Success!!!!<br />
Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-48347237337834876842012-12-14T20:38:00.000-08:002012-12-14T20:38:45.113-08:00Hold them closer tonightWhen I heard the news today that a gunman had opened fire on an elementary school, my heart sank, then it shattered, then it beat out of my chest until I wanted to throw up. I cannot begin to imagine the immense pain and grief all of the parents in Newtown are experiencing. When I think about them, I cannot help crying. When I see those little faces I cannot breathe. When I see the parents clutching their safe children, I loose it. Those faces could be the faces of my babies.<br />
<br />
I drop off my children at school everyday with expectations that they will be safe. We all do as parents. How something so horrible could happen to our most precious, is unfathomable. As I write this, there are still so many questions, so much more information to come out, but what we all know is that something like this should never have happened.<br />
<br />
It took everything in my power not to race to school, just to hug my babies. I almost never leave them without a hug and a kiss, but today they were engrossed in work, and oblivious to me calling them over for a hug and kiss, so I waved blew them kisses for my own heart, and I left. What if that was the last time I ever saw my boys alive?<br />
<br />
As I waited for pick up time, I grew anxious. I couldn't wait to hold those boys in my arms again.<br />
<br />
Making a conscious decision not to discuss this with the boys, we just went on with our day, dinner, hockey practice, bath, and then at bed time...I think it was Ryan, but I could be wrong, suggested a family cuddle, out of the blue. Not just Mommy! he said, but Mommy, Daddy, and the whole family.<br />
After a day like today, it was the perfect suggestion. The four of us, and the two cats, jumped into bed for the best cuddle of my life.<br />
<br />
Hold them close, Hold them close.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-31502983561733882152012-12-06T19:18:00.000-08:002012-12-06T19:18:34.149-08:00Growing up FoodieI know I've talked about this before, but raising foodie kids has its upside and its downside.<br />
<br />
I know that I did this to myself. I encourage my children to try anything and everything! I take huge pride in the fact that my kids love the obscure, the non-traditional kids fare. I do also remember a time when all I could get them to eat was crunchy food or hot dogs. <br />
<br />
Last night, while playing for legos, waiting for me to finish dinner Ryan calls out from the other room<br />
"Mom! Can I have some cucumbers and garlic aioli?" I know, If you had a nickle for every time you heard that!!!<br />
<br />
Tonight, running in from the other room, spying the sliced tomatoes on the cutting board, he sneaks in to snitch one. <br />
<br />
While making soup the other day, Evan delights in the fact that I was putting Kale into the soup. "Oh, Yum, I LOVE kale!!!"<br />
<br />
While ordering sushi, "don't forget the smelt roe!!!"<br />
<br />
Just moments in my life when I can delight in the fact that my kids are growing up foodie.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, Downside? When I can spend $80 on sushi for the three of us. Or when they would prefer to eat at Urge Gastropub rather than Roundtable. Foodie kids are expensive, foodie teenagers? oh my!!!Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-8815892100232488212012-10-28T20:06:00.000-07:002012-10-28T20:06:38.526-07:00My throat tightens a little just thinking about it.A preemie mom friend of mine posted a <a href="http://www.lifewithjack.com/2012/10/dear-new-nicu-mom.html">link</a> on Facebook to a blog of a preemie mom this week. The "Dear New NICU Mom" post was actually a post by another <a href="http://www.littlebabypierce.blogspot.com/">preemie mommy blogger</a>. These Mommies are only about 3 years out from their NICU experience, and reading through their blogs, I can recall it all so very clearly. The absolute terror of RSV, the realization that they are all suffering PTSD, all of these things they blog about, or blogged about talking about? Been there, done that... but one paragraph in this post really stood out, and made me reflect on those NICU days, and where we are now. <br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"...And finally, know that you’re not alone. Some of the most therapeutic times are found in the NICU when moms begin to connect. Share stories with each other. As you begin talking, you’ll likely find that these women who you thought were so different from you, have now become the only ones who understand your heart. Don’t be afraid to talk to them. Chances are, they’ll appreciate knowing that they’re not the only ones feeling this way either."</span></span></div>
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I will forever be grateful to Lindsay and Jamie, who in the middle of the most terrifying time in THEIR lives, took the time to reach out to Scott and Me. I don't remember the words very well, I was in a Mag induced haze, but I remember the kindness in their faces, I remember the words, if you have questions, anything we can do to help, and we've been there. It was that moment, that simple act, that changed our NICU stay, and what we took away from it.</div>
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Because of what Lindsay and Jamie did, (and what Keri and Craig did for to start it all) and how much it meant to me, I reached out to Nina and Todd, and they reached out to Saffron and Juan, and they reached out to Katy and Scott, and because of that simple act, a community was formed. A support system of people who understood, understand.</div>
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In my volunteer work with new NICU moms, I always suggest getting to know their neighbors. I tell them how much it meant to me. How six and a half years later, I am friends with those people, our kids are friends, we still celebrate birthdays and milestones, and life together. I hope I stress enough just how important that connection is, was and will always be. </div>
Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-43104133675346790482012-10-18T08:08:00.000-07:002012-10-18T08:08:00.503-07:00BlogHer Book Club: Diary of a Submissive: A Modern True Tale of Sexual Awakening<span id="internal-source-marker_0.24010061110406478" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-diary-submissive">Diary of a Submissive: A Modern True Tale of Sexual Awakening, by Sophie Morgan </a>was in a word, awful. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This
book, has been compared to other books of note recently that deal with
the subject of Dominant/submissive relationships, and it has been touted
as a more well written book. While yes, the sentence structure and word
choices are more polished, it is still not what I would consider
interesting reading.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
subject matter is handled bluntly and openly, and that is not what
turns me off about the book, but that it is just boring. Had I not been
paid to read this book, I would have stopped after the first few
chapters. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
book felt self indulgent. You know when you are talking to someone,
and it feels like they are talking just because they love to hear the
sound of their own voice? Well if you could translate that into reading,
that is exactly how I felt reading this book. I found myself shouting
“Shut UP” in my head.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
book claims to give you insight to a submissive, but all I got was a
few sex scenes and the banality of one girl’s life. I would much rather
we call a spade a spade, call the book erotic fiction, rather than a
memoir, and the expectation of any literary talent would be at a
minimum. (Millions of women did not read that other series for its
dynamic prose) The expectation, or maybe it is just my expectation with a
memoir, is that the author has at the very least something interesting
to say. Sadly nothing could be farther from the truth with <a href="https://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-diary-submissive">Diary of a Submissive: A Modern True Tale of Sexual Awakening.</a></span><br />
<br />
_________<br />
This is a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club, however the opinions expressed are mine alone.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-79468153202985043592012-10-15T20:15:00.001-07:002012-10-15T20:15:23.240-07:00Kindergarten we loved you so<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: black;">It seems I started this post the last day of school, and never finished, or posted...go figure. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The first picture is from day one of Kindergarten followed by pictures from the last day of school. I am so far behind, and there have been some really fun things that happened over the summer! I need to do a big giant post to catch up!</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Until then, know the boys had a great year, summer and are having a blast as first graders! </span></div>
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Quilt I made for our wonderful teacher. All of the kids did a panel.</div>
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We had a Luau the last day of school. </div>
Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-64426085200665299922012-10-04T07:00:00.000-07:002012-10-05T13:39:27.030-07:00BlogHer Book Club: Matched<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-matched">Matched</a>
is the first novel in a dystopian trilogy by Ally Condie. This piece of
young adult fiction finds us living in “The Society”, where we meet
Cassia a young girl, about to take the first step into adulthood.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">In
this society, everything is predetermined. There are no choices.
Everyone is fed a government prescribed diet. There is no sharing food
because the calories are carefully portioned. Your job is based on your
aptitude. Free time is portioned out sparingly. Even the day you die is
predetermined.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Almost
every person attends their Matching Ceremony after their seventeenth
birthday to find out who will become their future husband or wife.
Almost always it is a person in a far away region. In an unlikely
outcome Cassia is matched to her best friend Xander. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Cassia
and Xander are childhood friends. They grew up playing together, they
know each other and their families know each other. Everything is
great! Cassia and Xander are delighted. That is when everything goes
wrong. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Cassia
puts her microchip with information about Xander, her match into her
port. Xander’s face pops up on the screen, but it is quickly replaced
with the image of another boy. And not just any boy, but another she
knows well.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
rest of the novel takes us through Cassia’s internal conflict. It
raises questions in Cassia that she never had before. Throughout her
life she has been a conformist, never once questioning the rules, or the
predetermined outcomes in her life. Suddenly, she is a fountain of
questions.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A
pretty typical coming of age scenario, set in a futuristic time and
place, but typical none the less. It was a quick read, and I did find
myself “reading just one more chapter”, but I think I was expecting
more. The cliffhanger does make me hopeful for more adventure and
excitement to come in the next two novels, but the ordinary storytelling
in Matched does not make me want to go out there and buy them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">This was a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club, however the opinions are all mine.</span>Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-82864196625063268852012-09-26T20:43:00.000-07:002012-09-26T20:43:50.420-07:00Reliving the Preemie ExperienceIn the last year I have been volunteering my time to speak with parents who are going through similar NICU stays. Parents of gravely ill babies born way too early. It has been rewarding and even sometimes really hard. <br />
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More than six years after the premature birth of my boys, my very healthy and happy children, I can still be pulled back into the nightmare, the horror that is prematurity.<br />
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The families that I have worked with were wonderful. They've all had that perfect mix of fight and fright. Never too optimistic, never too down. You have to be that way with the prospect of a prolonged NICU stay. It has been a great experience, and I really enjoy working with them, but they are essentially strangers, it is easier somehow.<br />
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In the last 30+ days I have been too close to prematurity again.<br />
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34 days ago, a friend, a former NICU friend, gave birth to her son, prematurely. In a country that admits to being 15 years behind the US in their neonatal medicine. At 26 weeks. I know 26 weeks so intimately. Her son, was only 1 pound 7 ounces. Even more Micro than my Micros He has already had a brain bleed and NEC, however on the positive side, he is sprinting, and his lungs seem to be doing so much better than my 26 weekers. Everyday she posts an update on Facebook. Everyday I hold my breath as I read it. I know so well how quickly something can change. NEC -- That scares me so much. We escaped its wrath, but each time I read that they are increasing his feeds, or that his belly is a little distended, I cringe. She is so positive, and strong, and guardedly optimistic. In the first few days I would scream at the computer at all of her other friends congratulations, and positivity. Only someone who has been through all the ups and downs can know how painful congratulations can be.<br />
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Just last week another preemie was born to a friend of the family. 27/6. Preeclampsia. It all comes back so strongly. Every up and down. Every milestone. First skin to skin. First feed. This boy is doing really well. So far no major issues. I am holding my breath, can you tell?<br />
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As much as I want to know what is happening with these babies, it is hard. I am trying to follow "casually". Maybe it is a protective wall. I worry about these friends. Every day. My heart aches for them. Every day. Their babies get stronger. Every day.<br />
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and maybe I do too.Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-33783006576364563822012-09-20T07:31:00.000-07:002012-09-19T20:04:49.345-07:00BlogHer Book Club: Daring Greatly<a href="http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-daring-greatly">Brene Brown's Daring Greatly</a> delves into the notion that vulnerability is at the core of all things. Vulnerability and the way we either embrace it, or hide from it, influences our happiness and how we live.<br />
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I have to admit that non-fiction is really not my favorite genre. There are many reasons, one important one is that I am a skimmer. I typically read very fast. I gloss over many of the words and just focus on the meat. However, when reading non-fiction, that is nearly impossible. Another reason I rarely read non-fiction is time. I have very little of it, reading is a luxury, a stolen moment, something I wish I could do more of, but with two little kids, who always want me to read to them, very rarely do I read a book without pictures. When I do get those glorious moments of uninterrupted reading time, well, they are in about 5 minute increments. Waiting for my kids to be let out of school, or waiting in line somewhere, or right before I fall asleep. So, reading non-fiction in those few stolen moments, skimming the way I do, means I do not fully digest the meat. It's easy to follow along with fiction, eventually I remember what happened 40 pages and 4 days ago, however with non-fiction, it is like starting all over again.<br />
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So with <a href="http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-daring-greatly">Daring Greatly</a>, I have to say I struggled. Oh, did I struggle. I took notes. I highlighted. I re-read and re-read. Don't get me wrong, Ms. Brown is an engaging writer! She has many important and interesting ideas, I just have twenty million other things swirling around in my brain and I had difficulty keeping up!<br />
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There are a few things that really stood out for me. The whole idea of Daring Greatly, of abandoning shame and allowing ones self to be vulnerable, is an interesting concept. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as exposure, uncertainty, and emotional risk. Why would anyone want to put it all out there, to be that exposed? She states, "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage". Ultimately allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to be exposed, opens us up to find that knowledge that we are worthy.<br />
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Shame is the emotion that keeps us from living wholeheartedly. Shame is the emotion that makes it impossible for us to embrace vulnerability. What spoke to me most was the chapter about child rearing and shame. How do we raise children to live wholeheartedly, with out shame? What are the things we can do or say to remove shame from our children's lives? Since these childhood experiences shape who we are, can we as parents give tools to our kids to make them adults who know they are worthy, knowing they are enough?<br />
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I am sure that I will be revisiting this book, returning to areas as I continue to raise my children. There were many examples and ideas that I want to read again, and try to absorb more fully. I believe this is a book that can be used as a reference manual to life.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">This has been a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions expressed were all mine.</span>Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-45405793804220489632012-04-26T19:07:00.000-07:002012-05-10T21:33:25.792-07:00Evan at SixEvan, you are such a firecracker! Never silent, never still.<br />
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Your spirit is so bright. The light that comes from you is almost overwhelming! Your hugs are so fierce, you latch on with your arms and legs, the love that transmits from your limbs is intoxicating. You love so passionately. You are always all in.<br />
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You are thriving at school!! You love your teacher and your classmates. Your major issues are the issues I worried about for you in traditional public school. One of the primary reasons I chose Sparrow is so your spirit wouldn't be squashed by having to conform to what is considered normal in public school. You still need to be reminded everyday what proper behavior is in the classroom but you are never made to feel less than if you cannot achieve this perfectly. You are lovingly reminded and will continue to be reminded until you find a way to control the energy surging through your little body!<br />
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You are excelling at reading. I am constantly amazed at the words you read. I watch you look around a room and then exclaim "that says..." I should have known that you would be the first to read since you were always the child that longed for words, and you are the child that is never at a loss for them.<br />
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I have heard from many parents that you are constantly praising my cooking or talking about the food I make for you. This from my child who would not eat. Sigh. How far we have come.<br />
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You are the life of the party, singing and humming the Imperial March constantly! You have stopped singing the National Anthem for me, which makes me sad. I miss you busting it out when ever the feeling moved you. <br />
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You are so into Star Wars and you know all of the characters, since you have never seen any of the Star Wars movies, I am amazed, and amused. You and Ryan have intense conversations about the characters, what they do, and if they are good guys or bad guys. <br />
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I love your passion, your sense of right and wrong, your spirit, your ability to engage anyone in conversation, I love that there is no half way for you! I love you!Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-86798816799718919532012-04-26T18:51:00.001-07:002012-05-10T21:33:31.470-07:00Ryan at SixOh Ryan!<br />
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This year you have grown in so many ways. First you are HUGE!!!! It wont be long before you are taller than me. Emotionally, you are growing into an amazingly compassionate young boy. You always want to please and you want to see others happy. You share your treasures so freely with your brother, and you are so happy to give to him, so much so, you are spoiling him!<br />
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In school you are doing very very well. You want to follow the rules, and you want Evan to do so too. In fact this caused some problems early in the year because you were trying to make Evan comply and when he didn't, it would upset you and him. You are thriving in the positive, loving environment that is Sparrow, Hummingbird Haven, and Ms. Kari. You have made wonderful friendships and seem to be a leader among your peers.<br />
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You are so supportive of Evan, who is reading much more than you right now. If this is bothering you, you are not letting it show. You stated in class the other day "Evan is a fantastic reader, I am so proud of him! I hope someday I can read as well as he can!!!" I love that you recognize that you are different and that is okay, that you can support your brother's successes and use his achievement as a goal for yourself.<br />
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You are so naturally athletic and naturally competitive. It is one of the areas that we need to work on, sportsmanship! You hate to lose. That will serve you well in the future, but right now, not so much. Your desire to be the best manifests in your desire to practice. You are always eager to get out on the ice first, or the field. I even had to tell you that you could not practice soccer during halftime. <br />
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What sets you apart is your heart. You have such a giving and loving spirit. You comfort others, you have such a knack for making people feel good about themselves. You are so giving of physical objects and of your love.<br />
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I love your smile, your joy, your silliness, your competitive drive, your compassionate nature, your sense of humor, your observations, I love you!!! (now stop growing)Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-24280807611053413162012-04-18T15:25:00.002-07:002012-04-18T15:25:00.166-07:00BlogHer Book Club: The Book of JonasThe Book of Jonas, a first novel by Stephen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Dau</span> interweaves the stories of Jonas, a U.S. Soldier, and His Mother, like a finely woven tapestry. Albeit there are some holes, maybe left by the craftsman intentionally, or just the work of an inexperienced artisan.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Dau's</span> style, short succinct chapters, made The Book of Jonas easy to read, but sometimes hard to follow. I read most of this novel in one two hour block of time, finishing the last 50 or so pages over the next two days. This enabled me to follow the story more easily, however if I was reading The Book of Jonas over many, many, days, I feel I would have been confused easily.<br /><br />I had a deep desire to come to the end of this book. I just wanted to know that Jonas would be okay. I hoped that all of the foreshadowing was false and that the end would turn in a different direction. The book jacket suggests a surprise ending, but if you follow along, there is no surprise. Each chapter, each sentence, each word leads you to the obvious.<br /><br />The Book of Jonas was a good read, but it left me wanting more. I loved how one action, like the flap of the wings of a butterfly, could change the lives of so many. I love that theory, but the way in which these stories were told made me feel like something was missing. It may be the writers <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">succinct</span> style, or my recent fondness for overly <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">verbose</span> prose, but I was left missing, wanting, longing.<br /><br />The central theme of loss may have something to do with my desire to have more. When we suffer great loss, or those around us do, I think it is only natural to want more information, we (Okay, maybe I) want to understand, to see if there is anything we can do to help.<br /><br />Read a review, join a discussion at Blog Her.com:<br /><div><span class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><a id="yui_3_2_0_5_1334784438303448" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-book-jonas"><span class="" id="lw_1334784446_1">http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-book-jonas</span></a><br /></span></span></div><div id="yui_3_2_0_5_1334784438303624"><span class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></span></div><span id="yui_3_2_0_5_1334784438303627" class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_5_1334784438303626" class="yiv306860104Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">This has been a paid review for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">BlogHer</span>, the opinions however are mine, mine, mine.</span></span>Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-977911313548437833.post-51307242859379864702012-04-13T15:06:00.003-07:002012-04-13T15:15:12.685-07:00Hummingbird Haven goes CampingWe have been really busy of late, seriously, what is new, but we have really had some fun times.<br /><br />The first weekend of spring break, our Kindergarten class went camping, OH MY GOODNESS!!!!<br />The kids had so much fun!!!!<br /><br />There were six families from the class and we had five campsites all either next to each other, or super close. This gave the kids a HUGE area to run and play freely in. They rode bikes, and ran and played and played. It was unbelievable how much fun these kids had together. There was nary a conflict, and I never once heard the dreaded "I'm Bored!" <br /><br />I think the parents had just as much fun. After we put the kids to bed, well past their bedtimes, loaded up on smores, we sat around the campfire talking, and laughing, and just having a fantastic bonding experience too. <br /><br />We all had so much fun we are planning another trip this summer! <br /><br />I love these families, this school, and the amazing memories we are creating for our kids.<br /><br />We were also lucky enough to have a couple of amazing photographers on the trip, including our personal family photographer, so we have great memories saved for a lifetime! <br /><br /><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.photographybyalison.com/slideshows/dos-picos-camping-spring-2012/"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1334354929_0">http://www.photographybyalison.com/slideshows/dos-picos-camping-spring-2012/</span></a><br /><br /><br />Our first camping trip was a huge success, I am so glad we can now do these things with the boys that Scott and I enjoyed in our lives before kids!Janicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16692668817237974079noreply@blogger.com0