Heartbreak

It's late and I can't sleep.  Today my baby learned a hard life lesson, and I feel awful. It is possible I feel worse than he does.

Today he learned that he won't always be good enough, and that there will be rejection in his life. He will try things, and he will fail.  That is a hard lesson for an eight year old.

I wonder if I should have sheltered him longer, not let him face something like this so young.  What else could I have done to make him more successful in this endeavor? Here I sit, instead of sleeping, wondering if I could have protected him, should have protected him just a little longer.  I wonder how this will affect him in the future.  Will he stop trying? Will he decide he can never be good enough? He is already the kid who is really hard on himself when he makes mistakes. What will this disappointment do to him? How will his confidence suffer? What do I do? What do I say? How do I make this right? How do I spin this? How do I fix his little broken heart?

I think I have said all of the right things so far, I've been supportive, realistic, encouraging.  Per his request, I've started the wheels in motion for more private lessons. I fed him pass after pass so he could practice his shot today. Even after his disappointment he wanted to practice, for next year. Then he cried, "I have to wait a whole year", as tears filled his eyes.

I can't bear to see the sadness in his heart.  If I could I would protect him forever. I know I can't. I can only pick up the pieces, and hold them together until they heal.