....and in a bad way.
Friends of ours from our NICU days have been on the road to having another baby. They decided on a surrogate in hopes of not having another premature baby.
Yesterday, I got a call from Todd. Their baby girl was born at 26 weeks, 6 days. She weighs less than 1000 grams. (That's around 2 pounds)
This news has floored me. I felt like someone punched me in the gut. At the same time I feel my chest tightening and all the air in my lungs is being squeezed out of me with a force so strong I cannot even begin to describe it.
I can't imagine Todd and Nina, back at the NICU, back for another long, long stay, with another medically fragile baby. My heart is aching for them.
*************************
My heart, its been aching for many people lately. There seems to be a terrible amount of sadness in my circle of friends right now. Death, baby loss, marriages crumbled, children suffering, and now this.
All of this heartache, a painful reminder to appreciate everyday, even the toughest of the tough.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Don't Jinx It!
Knock on wood. and all the other superstitious things I can think of.
Evan swallowed today, TWICE.
He had some veggie stick at OT and some (a tiny, tiny bite) of pasta at lunch!
He told me, and my two witnesses that he swallowed! He was pretty proud of himself.
and we of him.
YEA EVAN!!!
and tomorrow is another day.
Evan swallowed today, TWICE.
He had some veggie stick at OT and some (a tiny, tiny bite) of pasta at lunch!
He told me, and my two witnesses that he swallowed! He was pretty proud of himself.
and we of him.
YEA EVAN!!!
and tomorrow is another day.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Weekend Wonders
This weekend there were lots of activities and action.
Saturday morning Ryan, Evan and I met our friends Tobin and Meredith at a huge Pumpkin Patch/Dairy Farm, while the Daddies went on a bike ride.
Fortunately for me, the main play area was fenced in, and when we arrived at 10, the crowds were not as large as later in the day. Why is that fortunate? Because as soon as we got through the gate, Ryan took off like a shot. (he's usually so good about stopping and freezing, listening, holding my hand) Evan in his own way was ambling along stopping and looking and generally not hurrying. I found myself in an in between. I didn't want to run after Ryan and leave Evan, who was closest to the parking lot, and the cars, and I felt helpless because I couldn't see, or catch Ryan. In hindsight I should have just picked up Evan and ran after Ryan, but I honestly didn't think he'd go so far so quickly. Thankfully Meredith was just getting through the gates, heard me screaming for Ryan, and told me to go on, she'd watch Evan.
Somehow, Ryan, must have seen the giant pile of dirt littered with all forms of dump trucks, diggers, backhoes, and bulldozers, and could not contain himself. I found him, on the other side of the dirt hill yelling "DIGGERS". He spent the next hour there, while Evan was a few yards away playing with the "ojo balls" (basketballs) I sat/stood on the hay bales in between with my head on a swivel.
This place was just too big for me to do alone. Especially after a long hard week. I felt stressed the entire time. I was never close enough to either boy to feel comfortable. I had to leave Ryan in the soccer area as I noticed Evan attempting the climbing wall. I got Evan up on the play structure, and Ryan was gone. I found him a few seconds later, and some lady said to me "oh, I wondered who he belonged to, he was trying to get into the porta-potties." Great. I slunk off muttering to Ryan.
I finally felt safe on the hay ride, both boys at my side, in a confined space with Meredith, Tobin and their friends. (This was really the only time during the day that I was able to talk to or even see the other Mom's more than in passing, as I dashed to and fro after wayward children.)
On our hayride we were fortunate to see the birth of twin calves. I didn't realize cows could have twins, I guess I should have, but what are the chances that my twins could be there to see twin cows being born? Evan seemed to be okay with the whole rope tied around the babies legs tied to a fence to help extract the cow from the birth canal. (Might be because of his own experience of being yanked out of my birth canal by his ankles?) Ryan on the other hand, lost his freaking mind. He was genuinely SCARED. It was a cry I've almost never heard from Ryan. It was so, so, sad. I held him on my lap, with one arm, and rocked him. Of course, my other arm was wrapped around Evan to keep him from jumping out of the truck.
Thankfully, after the hayride, Scott and Philip had returned from their ride, and I was relieved from duty.
****************************
You all know our struggles with Evan and Eating, well we may have hit upon something. I'm not holding my breath, but he's saying the right things, and he may have swallowed some bagel this morning.
He really wants to go in the bouncy area at Sea World. But its only for kids between 37" and some other number that is irrelevant to me at this point. I told him he was not big enough yet, and that in order to get big and tall, he has to eat, and swallow. I gave him examples like cheerios, pasta, fruit, veggies, bread, anything that I could think of that we had placed in front of him this week. Now, every time we talk about the bouncer, we talk about getting big and strong, and how chewing and swallowing is how we get big and strong. And by we, I mean Evan.
(This also seems to be working for sleeping)
Keep your fingers crossed that we have found THE motivator for this kid. How a bouncer and not chocolate, I'll never understand. If this kid didn't come out of me I'd swear he wasn't related.
*****************************
Evan: "Hanging like Gibbon" (as he hangs off the arm of the couch)
"Swinging like Gibbon" (still hanging off the arm of the couch)
Ryan: "Eating like Gibbon" (in response to Evan)
*****************************
Evan: "I get sun stamp at soccer on grass after pa-pa-chute, sitting" (remembering events at soccer where we have not been in three or four months)
*****************************
Saturday morning Ryan, Evan and I met our friends Tobin and Meredith at a huge Pumpkin Patch/Dairy Farm, while the Daddies went on a bike ride.
Fortunately for me, the main play area was fenced in, and when we arrived at 10, the crowds were not as large as later in the day. Why is that fortunate? Because as soon as we got through the gate, Ryan took off like a shot. (he's usually so good about stopping and freezing, listening, holding my hand) Evan in his own way was ambling along stopping and looking and generally not hurrying. I found myself in an in between. I didn't want to run after Ryan and leave Evan, who was closest to the parking lot, and the cars, and I felt helpless because I couldn't see, or catch Ryan. In hindsight I should have just picked up Evan and ran after Ryan, but I honestly didn't think he'd go so far so quickly. Thankfully Meredith was just getting through the gates, heard me screaming for Ryan, and told me to go on, she'd watch Evan.
Somehow, Ryan, must have seen the giant pile of dirt littered with all forms of dump trucks, diggers, backhoes, and bulldozers, and could not contain himself. I found him, on the other side of the dirt hill yelling "DIGGERS". He spent the next hour there, while Evan was a few yards away playing with the "ojo balls" (basketballs) I sat/stood on the hay bales in between with my head on a swivel.
This place was just too big for me to do alone. Especially after a long hard week. I felt stressed the entire time. I was never close enough to either boy to feel comfortable. I had to leave Ryan in the soccer area as I noticed Evan attempting the climbing wall. I got Evan up on the play structure, and Ryan was gone. I found him a few seconds later, and some lady said to me "oh, I wondered who he belonged to, he was trying to get into the porta-potties." Great. I slunk off muttering to Ryan.
I finally felt safe on the hay ride, both boys at my side, in a confined space with Meredith, Tobin and their friends. (This was really the only time during the day that I was able to talk to or even see the other Mom's more than in passing, as I dashed to and fro after wayward children.)
On our hayride we were fortunate to see the birth of twin calves. I didn't realize cows could have twins, I guess I should have, but what are the chances that my twins could be there to see twin cows being born? Evan seemed to be okay with the whole rope tied around the babies legs tied to a fence to help extract the cow from the birth canal. (Might be because of his own experience of being yanked out of my birth canal by his ankles?) Ryan on the other hand, lost his freaking mind. He was genuinely SCARED. It was a cry I've almost never heard from Ryan. It was so, so, sad. I held him on my lap, with one arm, and rocked him. Of course, my other arm was wrapped around Evan to keep him from jumping out of the truck.
Thankfully, after the hayride, Scott and Philip had returned from their ride, and I was relieved from duty.
****************************
You all know our struggles with Evan and Eating, well we may have hit upon something. I'm not holding my breath, but he's saying the right things, and he may have swallowed some bagel this morning.
He really wants to go in the bouncy area at Sea World. But its only for kids between 37" and some other number that is irrelevant to me at this point. I told him he was not big enough yet, and that in order to get big and tall, he has to eat, and swallow. I gave him examples like cheerios, pasta, fruit, veggies, bread, anything that I could think of that we had placed in front of him this week. Now, every time we talk about the bouncer, we talk about getting big and strong, and how chewing and swallowing is how we get big and strong. And by we, I mean Evan.
(This also seems to be working for sleeping)
Keep your fingers crossed that we have found THE motivator for this kid. How a bouncer and not chocolate, I'll never understand. If this kid didn't come out of me I'd swear he wasn't related.
*****************************
Evan: "Hanging like Gibbon" (as he hangs off the arm of the couch)
"Swinging like Gibbon" (still hanging off the arm of the couch)
Ryan: "Eating like Gibbon" (in response to Evan)
*****************************
Evan: "I get sun stamp at soccer on grass after pa-pa-chute, sitting" (remembering events at soccer where we have not been in three or four months)
*****************************
Saturday, October 11, 2008
For Sale: Two Boys, Best Offer
For Sale
Adorable, energetic, talkative,
two year old boys. Love cuddles,
cars, trucks and soccer balls.
Package includes all clothes,
toys and books. Please make offer.
Please.
On Thursday this was the ad I was considering placing on Craig's List. It was just one of those days. Evan spent hours in time out for hitting his brother. He wasn't even angry, he just seemed to enjoy bonking him on the head. I did not enjoy placing his little bottom in time out over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. Seriously.
Then Ryan decided he wasn't going to eat the lunch I packed him. No. Matter. What. I even threatened that he would not be able to pet the Clydesdale if he did not eat. Nope. So I then looked like the worst mom in the world when I let Evan pet the horse, and denied my poor crying other child.
We came home to Mr. No Nap Evan, (how do they know when I REALLY need a break?) and another round of the hitting-time out shuffle.
By the time Scott got home from work, I was EXHAUSTED, physically and emotionally.
Friday I tried a new tactic. Instead of "punishing" Evan. I gave Ryan privileges. Evan hit Ryan while we were in the store. Therefore, Ryan got to get out of the stroller and walk with me while Evan remained in the stroller in "time out"
There were only two times on Friday where Evan hit Ryan, so I pulled my ad from Craig's List.
Adorable, energetic, talkative,
two year old boys. Love cuddles,
cars, trucks and soccer balls.
Package includes all clothes,
toys and books. Please make offer.
Please.
On Thursday this was the ad I was considering placing on Craig's List. It was just one of those days. Evan spent hours in time out for hitting his brother. He wasn't even angry, he just seemed to enjoy bonking him on the head. I did not enjoy placing his little bottom in time out over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. Seriously.
Then Ryan decided he wasn't going to eat the lunch I packed him. No. Matter. What. I even threatened that he would not be able to pet the Clydesdale if he did not eat. Nope. So I then looked like the worst mom in the world when I let Evan pet the horse, and denied my poor crying other child.
We came home to Mr. No Nap Evan, (how do they know when I REALLY need a break?) and another round of the hitting-time out shuffle.
By the time Scott got home from work, I was EXHAUSTED, physically and emotionally.
Friday I tried a new tactic. Instead of "punishing" Evan. I gave Ryan privileges. Evan hit Ryan while we were in the store. Therefore, Ryan got to get out of the stroller and walk with me while Evan remained in the stroller in "time out"
There were only two times on Friday where Evan hit Ryan, so I pulled my ad from Craig's List.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I swear I just went to take a shower
...and I came back to find...
two of our caterpillars are now pupa! There are three more that by this evening should look just like these two. Wow I had no idea it happened so fast. This is educational for me too!
two of our caterpillars are now pupa! There are three more that by this evening should look just like these two. Wow I had no idea it happened so fast. This is educational for me too!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Lepidoptera 101
Scott got a burr under his saddle one day and decided to plant a butterfly and hummingbird garden in hopes of attracting Monarchs. Last year we had caterpillars, however they were there there one day, and gone the next. Darn birds.
This year, we bought an aquarium, and brought our little friends inside before any harm could come to them.
So now this is what is sitting on my kitchen table.
There are about six of them and a couple are starting to show signs of forming their chrysalis'. The boys are absolutely fascinated by the "cat-er-pill-lars" . They love to watch them crawl around and eat. I think they are going to really enjoy watching each stage. They already know that these caterpillars are going to turn into butterflies, but once they actually see it happen, well I think there will be a good deal of excitement.
********************
On another note, we went to the Wild Animal Park again. Since reading "If You Give a Cat a Cupcake" we have been very interested in riding the carousel "by our self". This is not our first carousel ride, but the first on "amils" with out any tears. Yea big boys!
Oh, and what kind of mom lets her kids out in public like this?
A mom that thinks that the water feature would be turned off and therefore doesn't bring a change of clothes for her kids, and one who's kids absolutely MUST play with the
"croc-ka-di-eal".
This year, we bought an aquarium, and brought our little friends inside before any harm could come to them.
So now this is what is sitting on my kitchen table.
There are about six of them and a couple are starting to show signs of forming their chrysalis'. The boys are absolutely fascinated by the "cat-er-pill-lars" . They love to watch them crawl around and eat. I think they are going to really enjoy watching each stage. They already know that these caterpillars are going to turn into butterflies, but once they actually see it happen, well I think there will be a good deal of excitement.********************
On another note, we went to the Wild Animal Park again. Since reading "If You Give a Cat a Cupcake" we have been very interested in riding the carousel "by our self". This is not our first carousel ride, but the first on "amils" with out any tears. Yea big boys!
Oh, and what kind of mom lets her kids out in public like this?
A mom that thinks that the water feature would be turned off and therefore doesn't bring a change of clothes for her kids, and one who's kids absolutely MUST play with the"croc-ka-di-eal".
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Five Alarm Fun
Today was the Annual Poway Fire Department Open House. Being that my boys are obsessed with Fire and Rescue vehicles, it was an absolute GIVEN that we would be there.
...and that the smiles would abound.
We also invited our friend Tobin to join us. He enjoyed the Fire Trucks too, just not posing for pictures. Somewhere along the lines, my children have learned to smile upon request. I swear I didn't teach them!
We even got a special treat and met a Dalmatian! "Hi puppy dog!"
We were able to climb in all sorts of Fire Trucks. "Evan climb in Fire Truck, put seat belt on, drive."
"Ry-ry do too!"
Okay, so they had a ladder truck, with the ladder fully extended. VERY cool. There was this step between the ladder and the cab of the truck, it was a perfect place for little boys to climb. Except, see Evan's hand. What you can't see is the gear behind Tobin's head, covered in grease. Evan saw it. Evan stuck his hand in it.
"Evan has grubby hands" Yep, see all that axle grease? See Tobin's Mommy getting him in his white shirt away from Evan's grubby hands? Yep. What you don't see is the firefighter running around trying to find a wipe to clean Evan's grubby hands. What you don't see are the cones the firefighters placed on those tempting steps to prevent other boys from getting grubby hands.
We'll come to this event again, there's a lot of good information to be had, that is once the boys can sit still and not be overcome by the emotion over the fire trucks, there will be some good information to be had.
...and that the smiles would abound.We also invited our friend Tobin to join us. He enjoyed the Fire Trucks too, just not posing for pictures. Somewhere along the lines, my children have learned to smile upon request. I swear I didn't teach them!
We even got a special treat and met a Dalmatian! "Hi puppy dog!"
We were able to climb in all sorts of Fire Trucks. "Evan climb in Fire Truck, put seat belt on, drive."
"Ry-ry do too!"
Okay, so they had a ladder truck, with the ladder fully extended. VERY cool. There was this step between the ladder and the cab of the truck, it was a perfect place for little boys to climb. Except, see Evan's hand. What you can't see is the gear behind Tobin's head, covered in grease. Evan saw it. Evan stuck his hand in it.
"Evan has grubby hands" Yep, see all that axle grease? See Tobin's Mommy getting him in his white shirt away from Evan's grubby hands? Yep. What you don't see is the firefighter running around trying to find a wipe to clean Evan's grubby hands. What you don't see are the cones the firefighters placed on those tempting steps to prevent other boys from getting grubby hands.
We'll come to this event again, there's a lot of good information to be had, that is once the boys can sit still and not be overcome by the emotion over the fire trucks, there will be some good information to be had.
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