Tribes

This post has been running around in my mind for a few weeks now, however finding the time to organize my thoughts has been difficult, and even now I am not certain I can get the right words down.

I have discovered the Tribes in my life. The groups of people who help me through my days, weeks, months, life. I never realized or maybe never saw them until recently. Sure there are the family and friends, yes, we have these people and they make our lives what they are, but have you ever looked at those friends, or acquaintances, have you grouped them into what they mean to you? How and why they came into your life, how they all fit together.

Broken down, my Tribes look like this:

1. The We Like to Stretch, Bend and Twist in a Very Hot Room Tribe: Most of these people I know only superficially. They are my yoga people. There are maybe 8 or 10 regulars, people I see at class at least 3 times a week. I don't know a lot about these people, but we share a special, sweaty bond. I look forward to seeing them, to the casual friendships.

2. The We Go To The Same School Tribe: We all have similar ideas on education, and the types of discipline for our children. These mom's in our kindergarten class, the are wonderful. I feel so fortunate that we brought our children to this wonderful school. I expect to know these women for quite a long time, and I am pleased.

3. The We Used To Go To The Same Preschool Tribe: Similar to the, We Go To The Same School Tribe, these women I have known since the boys were 2 1/2. Many of them I still see casually, but there are a handful (or two) that I see often, that we make a point to get together because we really like each other. All of our kids play well together, and all of their Mom's play really well together. I know we will know each other for a long time to come, and it makes me joyous.

4. The Our Kids Play Hockey, T-ball, Soccer Sports Together Tribe: We sit on the sidelines, in the stands for hours each week, we get our kids in gear, we cheer, encourage, reprimand, teach, and laugh together as our kids hone their athletic prowess. We may play on teams together again, we may play on teams together forever, but we will always support those kids' love of sports.

5. The We Went Through The Worst Time of Our Lives Together Tribe: My NICU people. I really need not say more. These people- the parents, the nurses, the kids -These people. We've been through more together than any one should. We've watched as nurses and doctors resuscitated our children, as they took them away for surgeries. We've watched milestones no parent should ever see, the first feed, the first time being held, the first extubation, the first 1000 grams. WE will be bonded forever. We will celebrate all triumphs, we will hold our collective breath at every hint of bad news. I will love those kids like my own forever. I will be proud of all they are, because I know where they have been.

6. The I Went To School With You Tribe: Most of these people I don't see or hear much from except from Facebook. Many of the people in this tribe I see infrequently, many of these people I don't care if I see them more or less. A few of these people I wish we were able to get together much more often, but even if we do not, it is always as if no time has passed. Such a wonderful old tribe.

7. The We Used To Kayak In Another Life Tribe: Kayaking buddies, some I see often, some not so much, but we will always have the river.

8. The We Once Worked Together Tribe: Like the Kayaking Tribe we once had something in common, now not so much, but those shared experiences will forever link us.

No wonder I never have any free time!

Halloween 2010

This year, the boys participated in their first ever Halloween Costume Parade at school. I use the word parade as loosely as possible, it was more like a bunch of confused kids dressed in costume walking around the courtyard a few times. It was really super cute. Ryan and Evan had fun, but as you can see in this picture, not everyone was as happy.



On Halloween, we went to our friend's house for our annual dinner, cupcake decorating and trick or treating extravaganza! I love these kids almost as much as my own. I've known them almost all of their lives, and I've watched them go from fragile little things to amazing, a-ma-zing, boys.
When we get together it is always chaos and whirlwind of little boy energy, and it is ALWAYS a joy.

To say these kids were extremely excited for Halloween is an understatement. There was spinning and dancing at dinner, there was a noise level to rival a playoff game at the Staples Center, and there was a frenetic energy that had the whole house vibrating.

I was calm however, I was holding the baby. (sigh, watch out Linds, I may just take her home one day)

We took this same picture last year, with much less success. The difference between 3 and 4 is amazing.

We also had more success in the actual trick or treat process. No one ran into strangers homes, or up their stairs, although I do think there were a few feet inside doorsteps, but that was just the crush to get at the candy bowls, and who can blame them. Seriously cute four four year old trick or treaters full of excitement and joy, made my heart swell at almost every door. About half way around the block Evan was done.

I found out it was because he really wanted to go back and eat his cupcake. The cupcake decorating went better than last year too. I was holding the baby, so I have pictures of that. But this year no one dumped the entire container of sprinkles on one cupcake and the other all over the floor. There were some really cute creations, and they tasted good too!


So good it almost knocked Evan's glasses off!


Ryan was decidedly against frosting. He just shoved candy corn and candy pumpkins into the cupcakes. What'cha gonna do?

I put two very tired boys straight to bed, and nary a peep was heard from either all night. We (Scott and I) are still recovering as I'm sure our lovely hosts are too.

I like butterflies, picking strawberries, long walks at the beach and red pepper marinara shooters

We've been extraordinarily busy, after the post birthday party let down, we spent our birthday at the Wild Animal Park with our classmates from preschool.

It was a bit chaotic, something like 15 kids, 10 classmates and their siblings, but all of the kids were really well behaved, and everyone seemed to have a really fun time.

We specifically went to see the butterflies, and got a special treat, any kid who wanted to was able to hold a butterfly on their hands.




The boys really enjoyed our second trip to the Butterfly Exhibit this season. We may even try to get one last trip in before the exhibit closes.

This weekend was our March for Babies walk. We had a great team walking with us, including the boys' friend Tobin. The three boys "rode" (we did a lot of pushing and steering) their tricycles almost the entire three miles. We did have to make pit stops in order to add gas to our tricycles, put air in our tires, and check our oil. The three of them made it quite fun.

Since we were in Encinitas, and Solana Beach is so close, and in Solana Beach is Pizza Port, of course we had to stop in for lunch. We had the time, only because our little buddy Colin got sick and therefore his first birthday party was canceled. So sorry for Colin, but my boys made the best of it.

Ryan has a love of spicy foods, and he showed us all just how much, he poured, I mean poured red peppers on his tiny little bite of pizza and devoured it. Scott is trying to limit his shaking of the red peppers here, but no dice.

He also poured red peppers into the marinara sauce we used for dipping our beer buddies and did shooters. He also licked the plate clean but, this is not a post about table manners.


After Pizza Port we raced to our friend Zachary's birthday party. (yes, we were going to try to do a three mile walk, and two birthday parties in one morning!)


We only stayed an hour, and then raced home for naps. We ALL needed naps!


On Sunday we had yet another birthday party to go to. It was really fun, the boys ran around like crazy monkeys, hanging from bars and jumping on things.




But what I really love is this spontaneous show of affection Evan showed Ryan. It always makes my heart so happy when they just hug because.


I did not look in the goody bags before I let the kids dig into them in the car and this is what I found...Two very happy boys eating some chocolate.


The quote of the day from Evan: "I love chocolate. It is the best ever!" (yes, that *is* my child)

What we've been up to lately

Going. Constantly.

We've been going to this great park almost every week. The boys love this open field and I mean love it. They run, kick, and throw balls of every type for hours. They tackle, wrestle, and dribble...oh and laugh as they tumble to the ground in a heap.

They also take naps.




We have been celebrating Theodore Geisel's birthday all month at school. They made these "Cat in the Hat" Hats and loved wearing them around the house. We've been working on rhyming a lot because well, it's Dr. Seuss. This morning Ryan came up with this:

One little puppy sitting in the bed
He turned to mama pup and said
"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof"
what was in his head?


I wonder if that is how Dr. Seuss got started?

The other week we went to the lake with our friend Tobin and Mr. Philip. We decided that we should let the boys ride their bikes around the lake. Philip and I overestimated had no clue pushed our kids too far. For the record. 5 miles is too far. Anything over 3 miles not so much fun for anyone involved.

But it was seriously cute. Three little ones speeding down the path, stopping to look at cacti. What could be better?


On Monday we met my Mom in San Juan Capistrano for a little birthday lunch for me. We did this last year and it was so amazing to me how much the boys remembered about our trip. They told me all about how they were afraid on the train, but then cried because they didn't want to get off. They told me all about feeding the bunnies and guinea pigs, and they told me all about the red jeep they got to ride on.

We got there early, and the boys got some good quality time feeding lettuce, carrots, and broccoli to the animals. We rode the train, with no tears. And, as a total shock to me the boys both wanted to ride the horses. Just recently they had the opportunity to ride little tiny ponies at a friend's house and they both objected, LOUDLY. I was dumbfounded to see them both happy as little jockeys.


Yes, the whole place heard Evan's squeals of delight as he passed in front of this huge cactus.



Ryan's take: "look Evan a Cacti!"

Yesterday, Evan woke up from his nap to go pee pee. Which by the way is the only time they will tell me they have to go to the bathroom, when they are supposed to be sleeping. But a potty training update is well over due and this post is already kind of long. I was watching hockey and heard the call from Evan's room, I paused the game to take him to the potty. He took one look at the TV and said to me in his most stern voice, "What on Earth are you doing?" "No Watching TV!" "NO!" His little finger pointed at my nose. He followed up with, "will you pause it so I can see someone shoot a goal?" I was laughing so hard I'm not sure where the pee went.

Today, and I do not have pictures of this event...Evan lost his glasses.
He and Ryan were running down this big hill at the park and he fell, and off his glasses came. I guess. He got up and got to the bottom and turned around to me and said, "and I ran even when my glasses were off" What? Shoot, where did he fall, where was he exactly on this hill. They are glasses I should be able to find them pretty easily. Right? WRONG?

I LOVE the Amazing Race, and I have to admit I make fun of them when they are doing the "needle in a haystack" challenges and they get all frustrated because they can't find the needle. I always think or say. Calm down, take on the challenge methodically and it is no problem!

About a half an hour into looking for Evan's $250 glasses, I got a little panicky. GRANTED, it was time to go home and have lunch to keep the kids on schedule. But I have to admit, I got a bit frustrated. And heck it's only $250 bucks, not a million. So, I apologize to all I have ridiculed on the Amazing Race. It is hard to find something when you REALLY want to find it, and it is difficult. BUT, I also had two kids to watch WHILE I was searching every inch of that damn hillside for one pair of glasses.

I walked up and down the hill maybe 20 times. I crawled on my hands and knees. Moved almost every single blade of grass. Searched. Methodically walked over every inch. They were no where. And now, it was almost noon. I had resigned myself to calling off the search for now, we'd have to come back after naps, post signs and look some more. I walked almost to the top of the hill where the boys were playing so nicely, to collect them, and lo and behold, right there, almost at the summit, THE GLASSES!

Yeah, I was so sure that he'd lost them when he fell, I'd been concentrating on the bottom section of the hill, um, where he fell! Especially since he told me they fell off when he fell down. I guess they fell off his face before that.

lesson one: Don't take a almost 4 year old's word for anything.
lesson two: Give up sooner and walk up the hill farther to go home.
lesson three: I am VERY allergic to grass, who knew?
lesson four: Don't make fun of racers on the Amazing Race, or now I am better prepared for that road block!

We are so lucky

****Edited

I've written here numerous times about our friends, Dylan and Tyler, and their baby brother Colin. We are so lucky to have them in our lives. The boys have been "friends" since their very first days, side by side in the NICU.

We've weathered those first cold and flu seasons when terror struck every time someone had a sniffle. We've had to cancel many a play date, so we didn't infect each other. (The best friend a preemie mom can have is another preemie mom, we totally understand and are not offended by canceled plans. We'd all rather be safe than sorry!)

The boys ALWAYS have fun playing together, and Lindsay and I ALWAYS (although more so now days) enjoy chatting.

I can NEVER be in the presence of these four and now five boys without laughing, and smiling the day away. I can NEVER be in the presence of these children without marveling at how LUCKY we all are. Five babies that had such difficult starts, starts that defied the odds. Five boys who are walking (okay four), talking, BREATHING examples of LIFE.

ARUGH. I LOVE these kids!!!!!!

Dylan mugging for the camera.

Evan, Ryan and Tyler working on a co-op masterpiece.

Seriously, how can you not love these kids. How cute are they????

Being around these little miracles reminds me, brings into focus, clarifies, just how lucky we are.
And it also gives me hope and perspective when I hear from a friend in Ireland of his struggles with his newborn daughter.

Aoibheann is a term baby, born with some respiratory distress. She spent the first seven days in the NICU. John described some of the things they were going through, the oxygen, the tests, the inability to hold their baby, and snap, there I was back in the NICU. Immersed in the sights and sounds like it was yesterday. Feeling so many emotions and worry for my friend and his family. The NICU is a full sensory memory. You smell it, feel it, hear it, see it, just by closing your eyes. Those of us that have had extended stays will never be fully rid of that ability to remember.

I was overjoyed that Aoibheann and her family only had to spend seven days in hell, and when John posted that he was laying the couch with Aoibheann on his chest, I remembered that moment too. That peace, the contented feeling, the overwhelming joy. sigh.

Aoibheann was only at home for eleven days, she is now back in the hospital. They believe it is RSV. I've talked ad nauseam about the dangers of RSV to preemies, and how frightened we were when the boys were little that they would contract this common virus which can be fatal in children with respiratory issues. Needless to say, I am terrified for them.

Thank goodness they listened to their parental instincts and took her to the ER, even though her pediatrician said she would be fine. Thank goodness she seems to be improving. But they are on that roller coaster that we rode for five months. Weaning oxygen, increasing oxygen, doing better, doing worse, going home soon, staying longer. My heart is with them, I feel helpless for them, and I know how helpless they feel for their daughter.

I know how lucky we are...I hope beyond words that they will be too.

*******Aoibheann is home with her Mom, Dad and Sister.

Seeds of Wonder need water to grow.

Today we went back to an old favorite, a place we had not been to in a long while. I honestly do not know how long ago it was that we were last at the Quail Botanic Gardens, now known as the San Diego Botanic Gardens. The boys always enjoyed themselves there. They have a lovely little area called the Seeds of Wonder Garden for little ones, with all kinds of fun things to play with, see, plant, blow, and watch.

I had forgotten that EVERY TIME we would go to the Gardens, I'd bring along a full change of clothes. Some one, if not everyone would end up covered in bubble solution, or wet from playing in a fountain, or covered head to toe in dirt from rolling around in, well, dirt.

Today, our buddy Tobin met us, and we played hard. We cooked food together, we watched the train, we blew bubbles,

and we fished.

We fished TOBIN out of the drink.

This little area has a pump and two troughs of water that cascade into each other. They are filled with creatures to "fish" out using big nets. The three boys spent a very long time fishing out Shamu, and dolphins, fishies, turtles, and other creatures. A couple of times Evan became a little enthusiastic, and nearly fell in. He caught himself and was able to remain dry-ish.


Tobin was not so lucky.

You can't *REALLY* see how wet he is, but you can see Philip laughing his ass off. This picture may be a bit blurry because I was also laughing.

If you closely you can see the puddle of water under and around Tobin. That water formerly resided in the trough. If you look very carefully, you can see just how wet he is. Head to Toe.


You should also notice that, it barely phased him, and moments later was precariously close to going in a second time.

Sorry, Philip, but I was pretty glad it wasn't one of mine. They certainly would NOT have taken it so in stride.

Ryan however, in his own sweet compassionate way, started splashing water on himself. I'm sure it was so Tobin would feel better about being dripping wet.

Thanks T for the best laugh of my day.

It's a good thing Daddy had a change of clothes in the car so we could all fully enjoy riding on the baby dinosaurs.


We then ran laughing through areas of the big garden looking, and finding, cacti. It's really fun to watch these three grow together. They so enjoy each others company, and I am still chuckling remembering the soaking wet Tobin.

Frighteningly Fun Halloween 2009

This was our first real Halloween. We've always dressed up, or at least had costumes and taken pictures in them. Last year we went to Sea World and "trick or treated" but this year was the first year that we even thought that going door to door was even an option.

We decided to join our friends Dylan and Tyler in their new neighborhood, because everything is more fun with multiple sets of multiples. Also joining us in the festivities were friends Hudson and of course, Dylan and Tyler's baby brother Colin.

Before Trick or Treating we decorated Halloween cupcakes. I use that term loosely. Basically we slapped a bit of frosting on cupcakes, took some bites and licks, poured every ounce of sprinkles out on one cupcake and then stuck our hands in the frosting and licked them clean.




See in my hand, that's all the excess sprinkles that came off the solid black cupcake by Evan's right hand. He's about to pour out the rest of the bottle, on the table.

They really need to make the holes on those things smaller. Seriously.

The kids had a bunch of fun, which is all that really matters.

After getting the sprinkles out from between my toes, we started on dinner.

Lindsay made a yummy hearty soup and even though the boys were a little too excited to really enjoy dinner, we made it through!


And then came the chaos of getting 6 kids under 4 into costumes.


With that feat accomplished...









We tried to get 5 kids lined up on the wall, looking at the camera, for a "our first trick or treating" photo.


On to the trick or treating!!!!


I didn't get a lot of pictures of the actual event, however, it was hilarious. Kids everywhere, some, who shall remain nameless, kept trying to go IN to the peoples houses. So, funny. They really got the hang of knocking and saying Happy Halloween, or Trick or Treat, and I was pleased that they did a pretty good job of saying Thank You, too.

We pushed all of little darlings, but when we got back to Dylan, Tyler and Colin's house, Evan told me,

"You said that after Trick or Treating we could eat our cupcakes"

Well, because I am true to my word, we sat down and ate our cupcakes, and then we exploded in a sugar induced frenzy. Running, screaming, laughing. (It's once a year, It's once a year)

When we were leaving, saying our good byes, my dear, subtle, gracious child says to our hosts.
"I don't want to come back here" Thanks Evan, way to go kid, already totally embarrassing Mom and Dad! Frankly we were all laughing so hard I'm not sure anyone heard him add "because I don't want to leave!!!" Ah, Good Times.

Really? a successful night. Very few tears, very few fears...except that last house that had one of those bowls with hands that grab you if you try to take candy from it...Yeah, Ryan DID. NOT. LIKE. THAT. He is still talking about how it scared him.